Civil servant /Mommy (and wife) is not playing her role well

Lately those functions above have not been carried out well. If that can be measured to percentage, I would say, only 40% or less target are archieved.. others would lay on 'lewat jadual' or even worse 'projek sakit'. Its not good... i know..i know. and I m to be blamed by 100%.

This few weeks have been my 'down' weeks. My mood swings, I got carried away with little tiny things, I screamed at my children, I even cubit and sekel them (my dear little hani si no exception, and abang got even worse... merah2 muka dia). My hubby also got his shares. I raise my voice during meetings, I show my temper to my staff. Kenapa ya? Sindrom menopouse ke?

Apa yang bz di ofis??

Last 2 weeks, I ve been working quite hard. The event went well. And seemed that JK that i Head (proxy only), manage to deliver all the delivarebles. Alhamdulillah. But office works terbengkalai, (I hardly online / on the net- sempat tgk emel sj).. terkejar dateline sana sini.. and seemed that there are so many things to do yet so little time that i have. Meeting- banyak yg takder solution / tak final. Serabut. Ada laporan kena revamp balik... penat. But when monday comes, and I have the chance to finish whatever I miss, my lazy syndrome came. Yesterday I only manage to do 2/3 minor tasks (Laporan teknikal siap, tunggu 1 sain jek) and the rest I spent most of my office time, surfing the net... bodoh betul. Still have a pile of work to do (balasan surat/menyurat, ke M lah, PL lah, PPJ lah.... ish malas betullah). Then I have to monitor ANOTHER one big event coming, whatever under my control and under a good supervision - its nearly done (tagging / car sticker). But on the other way round, of things that beyond my control.. montage/backdrop --> i gave them duedate of 6/8. Donnolah whether can meet the dateline or not. Susah benda yg yg memerlukan kreativiti ni. Nak paksa sgt pun susah..

Apa yg bz di rumah??

This is the area that always puzzle me. I have a good assistant. She does all the house chores. With little of mistakes sini-sana..biasa lah. And she told me she is not'well'. Sedang berubat. Fine. My hubby is still the same hubby as before. My kids also. But with new tricks and 10 new reason/answers. BUT I am TIRED. Whenever I reached ome, I feel so worn-out, exhausted, weary or whatever terms lah. Ya la, I still do lah whatever I need to do. Still attend to abangs homeworks, tengok buku sekolah. Kdg2 tgk Iqraq abang. See a bit here and there of adik's 'homework'. But with no enthusiasm. And i also ciluk my duty as well. What is wrong with me?

I think I want to take 1 day off... go to spa or do my facial. some therapy needed. asap. stress ni sangat merbahaya. kepada diri sendiri dan orang2 yang disayangi disekeliling kita. risau sangat.. kesian budak2. perlu muhasabah diri. perlu lebih mendekatkan diri dengan Allah. I cant wait to go to ESQ course this weekend. I REALLY2 need makanan ROHANI. Please help me Allah.

sorry, really has to get this out of my chest. hope to feel better, and do I? donno lah...